I'm sitting here, on the sofa, debating about what to write in my first blog. I must confess, I'm terribly shy and self-conscious. But, this idea came over me. Right now I'm actually pretending I speak to a friend, because I guess whoever reads this is a friend and a feminist. And all feminists are friends, right? Hopefully, because if it's not so, then it's weird. Pretending to you are writing to a friend.
My name is Miruna, as it says on my profile. And my spell-checker just said I misspelled it. Yeah, just because it's a foreign name it is misspelled. Well, it's not.
Anyhow, I was speaking about the debate I had with myself. What should I write for my first blog? Well I'm going to start with the fact that I hate the whole shit that just because you are a girl you should wear pink; and if you are a boy you should wear blue. By the way I'm speaking of babies. I mean, when you're a teenager you get to choose what colours you wear right? (For some anyway, because my mum thinks brown suits me. NO IT DOESN'T!!! Especially pale brown. I like R-E-D because it's sensual, like me. Roar...).
I actually started thinking about this when I took sociology (and I only got a B...*sigh* four marks away from an A...). My first lesson was about how parents treat their babies, by their gender/sex. We also learned the difference from the definition of biology (sex) and of sociology (gender). But that's something else. (If you REALLY want to know, leave it in a comment I'll try and get back at you, but you can also use Google).
The booklet said that when we are born, the things in our life come from stereotypes. What I mean, for example, if you're a girl then you're made to wear "pretty, little pinky dresses" and you are given dolls and other girlish stuff to play with. While, if you're a boy, you're given "masculine, blue and green" trousers and T-shirts. You are given cars and figure men to play with.
It is also known that it is more likely for a girl to be taken to and from school by their parents/guardians while if you are a boy you are less likely. Really? Can't parents trust us, females, too? Does EVERYONE think we are weak? Not my parents anyway, because even in Romania I went to school by myself. Now, in London, I take the bus by myself and if it's snowing and the buses don't work anymore I have to walk. And am I alive? Am I well? You bet I am. Parents need to trust their daughters more, give them more freedom, or at least treat us equally.
I'm not saying my family is not stereotyping gender. Nup. Because they are. But what I'm saying it's that it's time for a big change. Because we can look after ourselves too, like boys.
What I also learned that day is that we learn our gender roles (i.e.: what the society expects of you if you're a boy and what the society expects of you if you're a girl), from our parents. We see our mum cooking, so us girls should stay home and cook. We saw our dad coming home from work, being breadwinners, so boys should do the same when adults. We copy what we see at our parents because when we're small they are our role models. And I'm not saying it's their fault...No-no-no-no, just a little bit, but what I'm saying it's the society's fault. Society, you suck. Media, you suck (expect your magazines. Man I love reading those magazines). But you still suck. Encouraging stereotyping, *tut tut*.
Media does encourage sexism. Both against male and females. But more against females. And it angers me, all the adverts encouraging the idea that the job of a woman is to stay at home, cook, have kids and have no freedom. I mean, my mum had freedom but now she's a single mum so obviously she has to work. My dad was sexist. (So am I apparently. I was told since I was in primary school. I'm a
F-E-M-I-N-I-S-T. Ok?)
It was found that in cleaning adverts it is more likely for a man to do the voice-over while the woman does the cleaning. What does that mean? That men control women. And maybe they do. It's called a patriarchal society. Do I believe in that? You bet I do. And I believe it has to change. Quickly. Because us females, even though some might disagree, are important to the society. And by stopping treating us unequally the society can save money. The society will be a better place with equality. Because you DO need the man's competitive spirit, his business mind and his confidence, but you also need a woman's caring, understanding and empathy. Without a woman, there would be NO man, and vice versa.
We are born into this world and then we are stereotyped. We are taught our gender roles, and that we are not equal. We are taught to accept this, but I don't. And I bet there ARE people who don't believe in that. And I'm here to speak our mind, and to maybe educate people.
****Next time: Double standard and teenage years. How does media contribute even more?****
(PS: All opinions are welcomed, all comments and suggestions are read. I'll try and answer some, but if you insult me don't wait for my answer. You're not worth my time. You can have your opinion, you can be against feminism, but don't insult me because I won't insult you back. Thanks,
~Miru)
