Marriage attitude

I didn't write anything yesterday because I was too lazy. And I was watching movies the whole day. I don't have a lot left before I start school, so I'm having fun. 

Now, to more important matters. The subject I'm going to call about is marriage attitude. Because not all girls want to marry, have kids and be a stay-at-home mum. And an example is me. In my opinion, I'll never get married and never have kids. I might adopt a kid, but I'm not gonna have one and go through that whole pain and still be treated unfairly in society. Why the pain when you only gain a kid? Another mouth to feed...now that's mean, but that's my opinion.

Marriage. The attitude towards it, years ago, was that most girls wanted to get married. That was their target in life, according to a interview by a sociologist. But now, in 200-something, girls want to get married but they also want to have a great career, be a great businesswomen. And I respect those who do that. Have a somewhat happy marriage, beautiful kid/s and a successful career. What I'm saying is I can't and won't. All I want is for my family to be happy (if I'm happy they'll be happy) and a great career. 

So know less girls want to get married. But there are still problems. Because as always there is a dark side to marriage. For example, there is domestic abuse. There is domestic labour. These equal = inequality in a household. 

I'll start with domestic labour. What is domestic labour? Why does Google say that I spelt it wrong? I'm not American. However, domestic labour is housework, basically. It's just a more sociological word. If you don't know what housework is, use Google. An example might be washing dishes. And in most households the woman does domestic labour. And this is not normal. Let's not be stereotypical. And then the woman has to face triple shift if she works and is married: domestic labour, career and emotional support for her family. 

Domestic abuse. I bet everyone knows about this. Because even though you don't read a lot about it in newspapers, you still hear about it. It's a big subject, too big for today. But what I'm going to say is that it is more likely a woman will face domestic abuse in a home than a man. Yes, even men face domestic abuse. 

Before, divorce was frowned upon. If you married, you are meant to stay together for ever, right? In my opinion if something goes wrong in that marriage and you cannot mend it, then divorce is the right choice. But now, divorce is on a rise. Maybe the women, as it is more likely they'll fill for a divorce, agree with me. Maybe they have a higher standard in marriage.

Also women can also not make the same mistake as before. Now they can live with their boyfriend instead of getting married straight away. They can also have sex with their partner without being frowned upon. Which is great, it means the society is changing in good way.

But there is a big way to go. Conclusion? Marriage is good for those who want to stay committed, not those who want freedom to move around and see what they like, people like me. Women, and men, can re-marriage after divorce or they can girl/boyfriends. Or they can choose to never marry, or marry later on when they settled down which I guess it what I'll do.

Boys are stronger than girls...

...I would like to disagree. But first I would like to say sorry for not writing yesterday. I forgot. My bad. Actually I was watching The Da Vinci Code.

I heard the phrase "Boys are stronger than girls" a thousand of times, and a thousand of times I had debates with the people, mostly boys, who said that. If a girl said that, I would try my best not to slap her. Because it's wrong.

Boys might be physically stronger, as nature made them that way. But is violence the best? I mean, we can get out of trouble by using our minds, our intelligence. I might even go further and say that girls are more intelligent and more mature than boys, and instead of using our hands we use our brain. Which means we outsmart whoever and we also don't get in trouble with the law.

That's the first part of the whole debate. Have you ever thought it this way: girls are stronger than boys because of many factors. I'm going to make a small list.

1. Do boys carry a heavy baby for 9 months? I don't think so. Either we decide to have a baby, or we don't (i.e.: rape, condom comes off etc) we still go through pain. We also lose a job if we are 21 and are likely to have a baby. We also have the pain of delivering the baby, and we might end up dead or our baby dies. Also we are frowned upon if we have an abortion. In my opinion, it's our body we do whatever we want as long as it doesn't hurt the society. Furthermore, let's say if a male had a baby and had an abortion the society wouldn't be against it.
2. We have periods. I mean, it is easy right? Right? No. Boys don't know how it is to have periods. Especially at the beginning when, even if your mother tells you about it, you think you're bleeding to death. Furthermore it is very uncomfortable and sometimes you can't do things you enjoy, like going to the beach, if the period is heavy.
3. Double standards. I spoke about this previously, but I'll state briefly what I mean. If boys sleep around, they are cheered on, encouraged to do again. As long as they don't leave the girl pregnant. But if girls do that and are found out, they are shunned from society. Or they are told off. Then killed. Or whatever, it is still different if you're a girl and if you're a boy.
4. Expectations. Boys also are expected to be fit, but they are not pushed as girls are. What I mean is that  the most number of teens dying from anorexia (as said previously) are girls. Magazines, i.e.: media, tell girls that they have to be slim, beautiful, perfect, a sex object. Don't believe me? Ok then. Slim: look at a fashion/glamour magazine. Then count how many overweight models do you see? Or how many normal weight models do you see? Two, one, NONE? Beautiful: how many models do you see without make up? None. Perfect: look again. How many are not airbrushed? How many have spots, wrinkles? Not many. A sex object: this is simple. Look at page 3 on Sun newspaper. What do you see? A topless girl in a bikini. This is how media sees girls and teaches girls how to be. Nothing wrong with that, right? Wrong, because girls commit suicide because of this. Girls are pressured to be perfect. But perfection doesn't exist, because all girls are beautiful the way they are. 

So the conclusion? Boys and girls are different, and that itself is a beautiful thing. To be different, unique. To be you. Media should encourage imperfection, uniqueness. Boys might be stronger than girls in means of fighting, but girls are still powerful. Girls might cry at night, but next morning they will behave everything is alright. Girls have been strong all over history, and media should encourage girl power.

~Miru

Way to go!

Woop! I read in a newspaper that girls are STILL doing BETTER than BOYS! WOOP! That is very good for us, girls, so keep going! Girl Power.

Anyhow, tonight I'm going to speak about becoming young adults. You go into school, you learn, you see more stereotypes and more double standards and you're taught your gender role. How? By your teachers (for example, teachers are more likely to tell a girl off for misbehaving; while boys are not told off as much- boys will always be boys...yeah, whatever), by your parents (young ladies DON'T walk that way, they DON'T talk that way; men don't cry, man up boy, stop being a girl), by the media (Ohmigod, size 0 is the new fashion girls!; boys, using girls as sex object is cool) and etc.

You are taught all these inequalities. And maybe there are positives in society. I'm not saying there are not. But there are so many negative examples, like double standards and glass ceiling effect that us women have to face everyday, whether we are teens, babies or adults (women are more likely to face glass ceiling effect than girls). But we still face it. Everywhere in the whole world.

As you get older and move onto college you might be encouraged to choose subjects like Art and English if girl; and Maths or ICT if a boy. This shows stereotypes: if a girl you should be "artistic", "gentle"; if you're a boy you should be "hard-working" and "intelligent"- furthermore girls should choose careers like teachers or nurse; boys should choose careers like doctors or lawyers. And those careers encouraged for girls don't earn as much as those for boys. Meaning for a lifetime boys while earn more than girls. It will take a lot of years to catch up with boys just because of the unfairness in the society.

You are also less likely to get a job if you're 21 and a woman; why? Because you might get pregnant at that age. And those companies don't want to lose money, do they? No, obviously not. So they won't choose you. They'll make some really random reason, because they are not allowed to do that. That? That is called glass ceiling effect which I mentioned on the 3rd paragraph. At the same time other factors could contribute: racism (if you're African, you might not get chosen) or because of your accent, etc. But more than less it's likely because of the fact that the nature gave you the ability to have babies. And it isn't even your fault. I mean, there is payed leave, but do companies want that? No. And you're less likely to get promoted.

So there's no wonder why women make less money that men. It's not even our fault; it's nature's way. We make babies because that's how we were born and made by God (if you believe in him, I don't know). This surely proves how unfair the society can be.

How does the media contribute to this? That's hard to say...maybe because when celebrities have babies they are not really put in a good light, being picked on weight and etc. This makes everything more stressful for women reading those magazines/newspapers/websites/watching news.

Why do more women choose not to have babies and concentrate on career than on family? I don't blame them, because I don't plan on having babies and being stuck in the house with less pay than my "future" husband/boyfriend/whatever. Because I don't like doing that. I like baking a cake...no, scratch that I can't. I like helping my Auntie/mum/whoever knows how to cook at home (by licking the cake mix? Is that even helping? Washing the plates...). But, unlike my mum/Aunties, I won't cook/bake for my husband/boyfriend, not just because I can't (I can learn), just because I'm not a slave. And that's why I help my mum, who is a single mum, because she is not a slave, and never will be. I won't cook, or clean up after him, because he has two hands, two feet and he can do it himself. If he can't? Then he can starve, smell like a bin outside in the summer rotting, I don't care because just because I'm a women doesn't make me his slave. End of. Goodnight.

****Next time? Who knows. I got a new hair-cut. Have a nice weekend everyone who reads this****

Comment. Follow. Tell your friends. Just do something, don't just read this! Thanks


(Yeah I'm just always going to say this even if people don't comment: don't insult, I don't insult YOU, I WON'T insult you, I'm just stating my opinion, i.e.: what I make of this world. I'm tired because I stayed up all night listening to music, so I don't know I might be even more harsher? Or I might make no sense. Whatever. I just HAD to write something.

~Miru)

Double Standards and the Media

I read once in a book that the worst thing to call a boy is a girl. Furthermore the worst insult to call a girl is a girl. What I'm saying calling a boy a girl when they get hurt and cry and tell them to man up encourages stereotypes. Furthermore what I mean is that if you call a girl a b***h which means female dog it is a insult. What's wrong in that? Whoever does that says that girl is an insult to society. Which isn't right.


Double standards. At first I didn't know what that meant, but I saw double standards in every media I read or watched. Double standards affects us all, both males and females, and in my opinion is a bad thing in society. 


What IS double standards? If you don't already know what it is, or you haven't used Google yet, then double standards is when, for example, if you are male you're allowed to sleep around and won't be frowned upon, but if you're female it's not the same thing, because you're called a b***h, a w***e and a s**t. But not males, oh no no.

If you still don't understand what double standards is, this is what Google said: 
                 Noun: A rule or principle that is unfairly applied in different ways to different people or groups


And the different groups/people we're talking about now are girls and boys. The media influences this a lot, and in my opinion it is unfair. It teaches teenagers that boys are powerful and don't have to be afraid of the bad consequences while girls have to be careful where they step so they won't get a bad reputation.


The media always brings to our attention of teens mum's, and they are always shown in a bad light. Truthfully there are more middle-aged women having children than girls. So, really, the media is over-exaggerating. We shouldn't really be so negative towards teenage mum's and we should really HELP them. Understand them. Not shun them.


The newspapers, in the sports area, are always portraying woman like sex objects. They call them "babes" especially in the Sun newspaper. And number 3 girls? Hah! I think that is very wrong, again showing us that women are sex objects and only those with beautiful bodies should be given most attention. 


That is another issue, as it is double standards and it does have something to do with teens. Girl teens. Because it is more likely for girls to die from anorexia or bulimia than boys, by suicide or starving or overweight. I myself am overweight and I'm always under pressure thanks to the media. I am happy with my body, but I'm pressured by my family to lose weight so I can be perfect like those anorexic models. I'm not saying my mum wants me to be anorexic, but maybe media does. Why? Because they always show photos of anorexic models as being the perfect way.

In every magazines, and I usually ignore those pages because they are *******, they show how to lose weight. OH! Look, this celebrity went from size 18 to size 10 in two weeks; this woman went to size 0 in one month and so can you! Yeah, sure. I can try dying or I can be happy with my body and enjoy my food. I would rather to the later, because that is healthier than being anorexic. So, magazines, no thank you. I wish others would feel the same, because I don't like reading about young girls dying from dieting. You look nice the way you are, but if your doctor says you have to lose weight, then I'm afraid you do. With a balance diet. Breakfast, lunch, dinner. You have to eat to be healthy, but not too much of too bad i.e.: sweets and fizzy drinks. And do exercise. Run, play tennis, swim. Don't go over the top.


Lastly, because I really need to go and have something to eat, is that half of the teenagers thought that it was Rihanna's fault for getting beaten up by then her boyfriend Chris Brown. And I blame all that on media and what they teach us. More on that later:


****Next? More teens and now going onto to young adults...and the media****


(Like I said before, leave a comment etc but don't insult me in any way as this is my opinion and I'm not insulting YOU by writing on here. I'll just ignore your comment. However feel free to comment and question my ideas, I will try and reply.


~Miru) 

The Colour Pink

I'm sitting here, on the sofa, debating about what to write in my first blog. I must confess, I'm terribly shy and self-conscious. But, this idea came over me. Right now I'm actually pretending I speak to a friend, because I guess whoever reads this is a friend and a feminist. And all feminists are friends, right? Hopefully, because if it's not so, then it's weird. Pretending to you are writing to a friend.

My name is Miruna, as it says on my profile. And my spell-checker just said I misspelled it. Yeah, just because it's a foreign name it is misspelled. Well, it's not.

Anyhow, I was speaking about the debate I had with myself. What should I write for my first blog? Well I'm going to start with the fact that I hate the whole shit that just because you are a girl you should wear pink; and if you are a boy you should wear blue. By the way I'm speaking of babies. I mean, when you're a teenager you get to choose what colours you wear right? (For some anyway, because my mum thinks brown suits me. NO IT DOESN'T!!! Especially pale brown. I like R-E-D because it's sensual, like me. Roar...).

I actually started thinking about this when I took sociology (and I only got a B...*sigh* four marks away from an A...). My first lesson was about how parents treat their babies, by their gender/sex. We also learned the difference from the definition of biology (sex) and of sociology (gender). But that's something else. (If you REALLY want to know, leave it in a comment I'll try and get back at you, but you can also use Google).

The booklet said that when we are born, the things in our life come from stereotypes. What I mean, for example, if you're a girl then you're made to wear "pretty, little pinky dresses" and you are given dolls and other girlish stuff to play with. While, if you're a boy, you're given "masculine, blue and green" trousers and T-shirts. You are given cars and figure men to play with.

It is also known that it is more likely for a girl to be taken to and from school by their parents/guardians while if you are a boy you are less likely. Really? Can't parents trust us, females, too? Does EVERYONE think we are weak? Not my parents anyway, because even in Romania I went to school by myself. Now, in London, I take the bus by myself and if it's snowing and the buses don't work anymore I have to walk. And am I alive? Am I well? You bet I am. Parents need to trust their daughters more, give them more freedom, or at least treat us equally.

I'm not saying my family is not stereotyping gender. Nup. Because they are. But what I'm saying it's that it's time for a big change. Because we can look after ourselves too, like boys.

What I also learned that day is that we learn our gender roles (i.e.: what the society expects of you if you're a boy and what the society expects of you if you're a girl), from our parents. We see our mum cooking, so us girls should stay home and cook. We saw our dad coming home from work, being breadwinners, so boys should do the same when adults. We copy what we see at our parents because when we're small they are our role models. And I'm not saying it's their fault...No-no-no-no, just a little bit, but what I'm saying it's the society's fault. Society, you suck. Media, you suck (expect your magazines. Man I love reading those magazines). But you still suck. Encouraging stereotyping, *tut tut*.

Media does encourage sexism. Both against male and females. But more against females. And it angers me, all the adverts encouraging the idea that the job of a woman is to stay at home, cook, have kids and have no freedom. I mean, my mum had freedom but now she's a single mum so obviously she has to work. My dad was sexist. (So am I apparently. I was told since I was in primary school. I'm a F-E-M-I-N-I-S-T. Ok?)

It was found that in cleaning adverts it is more likely for a man to do the voice-over while the woman does the cleaning. What does that mean? That men control women. And maybe they do. It's called a patriarchal society. Do I believe in that? You bet I do. And I believe it has to change. Quickly. Because us females, even though some might disagree, are important to the society. And by stopping treating us unequally the society can save money. The society will be a better place with equality. Because you DO need the man's competitive spirit, his business mind and his confidence, but you also need a woman's caring, understanding and empathy. Without a woman, there would be NO man, and vice versa.

We are born into this world and then we are stereotyped. We are taught our gender roles, and that we are not equal. We are taught to accept this, but I don't. And I bet there ARE people who don't believe in that. And I'm here to speak our mind, and to maybe educate people.

****Next time: Double standard and teenage years. How does media contribute even more?****

(PS: All opinions are welcomed, all comments and suggestions are read. I'll try and answer some, but if you insult me don't wait for my answer. You're not worth my time. You can have your opinion, you can be against feminism, but don't insult me because I won't insult you back. Thanks,

~Miru)